13.12.05
mixed bag
I often look at my flatmate and her new partner and wonder if A and I were so sickening when we first got together. I also wonder if I talked about him half as much as she talks about him and I wonder if we were quite so 'lovey' in public (or 'private' i.e. at home in the kitchen in front of me) as they are. I really, really hope we weren't because it sucks feeling uncomfortable in your own home. Thankfully I'm pretty sure we weren't and we aren't as bad as them and in just a month/month and a half I'll be out of the house.
My flatmate keeps telling me that I'm a nice person and that A and I are a nice couple. Frankly, I don't think we are nice people, or to speak for myself, I am not a nice person. I have horrible thoughts about people all the time, for example thoughts about what I'd like to do to people who think its okay to make out in the kitchen while I'm doing the dishes. I might smile and be polite (sometimes at least) but I am not a nice person. I'm not quite sure why people don't see that.
There is good news however, I got my film essay back- finally! I got a HD (High Distinction) and I'm happy. And, I got a lot of praise for my filmic analysis which really pleased me because thats probably my favourite part of writting a film essay. So yay me! Both of my last two film lecturers are pushing me to do honours in film... but we shall see. For now I am just happy with them liking what I've written. Maybe I'll bore you all and post my essay here.
9:14 p.m.